What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?
Last Updated: 02.07.2025 06:57
¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!
Marijuana makes Jesus cry!
Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.
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Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)
Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!
Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.
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At least until the peyote kicks in ...
Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.
Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.
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Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!
I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.
In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …
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Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!
And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...
But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!
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Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.
And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.
In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …
Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority
I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.
Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.
Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.
“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”
Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.
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Make Nazis afraid again!
Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.
Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!
Women like what they hear while men like what they see, it that true?
After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.
Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?
Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …
Shameless vixen! Trollop!
Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!
TEXT:
Why do almost all vertebrates have tails, but not apes and frogs?
Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.